Life Update - March 12, 2018
Hello everyone and welcome back to Kelli with an i!
It's been a minute since I've updated anyone on my personal life. To be honest, it's been quite nice to not constantly update my Facebook all the time. However, I do have some updates on life that I would like to share on here.
First thing I am sure people are wondering is: How much longer do I have left and are things squared away for school?
I have 6 days left before I move, and they'll be gone before I know it. Things are not 100% squared away with school and finances... or anything really.
Up until last week, I had an apartment leased out and a job that was basically mine for the taking. On Tuesday I received a phone call letting me know the apartment complex I was supposed to be leasing from could no longer accept any tenants (as of that day). The next morning, I received an email from the potential job explaining that they could only pay minimum wage. (In Georgia, that's around $9... I could make more working at Panera Bread.)
The apartment that bumped me sent me to another complex that would be willing to pay the same rent amount for the same lease time (which is shocking, since the new complex is almost $150 more per month). At this point, it is not 100% confirmed that I have a unit, but I will call tomorrow and find out.
As for a job, well... I haven't found anything yet that seemed like it would work around my school schedule as easily. I'm still applying and looking, but that is also something I'll work on tomorrow.
Mentally, I feel a bit overwhelmed by my own emotions. I have lived in Norman for 16 (almost 17) years. It has slowly but surely won my heart. For a long time, I felt like I needed to leave and now I am wondering if these subtle feelings of regret are real or just a longing for what never was.
I am constantly reminding myself of a quote someone told me a couple of weeks ago: God is everything or He is nothing. I think a lot of my feelings of remorse and sadness stem from the fear of leaving what is comfortable behind me and venturing into the unknown. I crave a past that didn't exist because it seems more comfortable than moving into a future that is full of challenges and change; two things I struggle with accepting on a daily basis.
For now, I switch between sadness and being okay. I'm not currently feeling the excitement I felt so frequently a few months and even weeks ago. I think that fact that I am willing to face just being okay shows me that I have grown so much as a person. Just because my days are okay doesn't mean that moving isn't a good idea. Feelings aren't fact and my intuition is telling me I'm doing the right thing.
To be honest, this last week has left me without an appetite. I have a hard time eating full meals or any meals at all. I've been having a nauseous and uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. As I was reflecting on the last couple of weeks and everything that has happened around me, I realized I haven't felt this anxious in years, and I'm not a fan of it at all. It's amazing to notice how things change, because nine or 10 years ago, I would have forced this feeling away by doing something drastic or irrational, but today I've been able to just be who I am and feel what I feel and remind myself that this anxiety won't last forever.
So for now, my only update is this: Things aren't going the way I thought they would, but for some strange reason I know it's going to be okay. I'll try to update more soon, but if you'd like to see more of me, check out my YouTube channel: Kelli with an i
It's been a minute since I've updated anyone on my personal life. To be honest, it's been quite nice to not constantly update my Facebook all the time. However, I do have some updates on life that I would like to share on here.
First thing I am sure people are wondering is: How much longer do I have left and are things squared away for school?
I have 6 days left before I move, and they'll be gone before I know it. Things are not 100% squared away with school and finances... or anything really.
Up until last week, I had an apartment leased out and a job that was basically mine for the taking. On Tuesday I received a phone call letting me know the apartment complex I was supposed to be leasing from could no longer accept any tenants (as of that day). The next morning, I received an email from the potential job explaining that they could only pay minimum wage. (In Georgia, that's around $9... I could make more working at Panera Bread.)
The apartment that bumped me sent me to another complex that would be willing to pay the same rent amount for the same lease time (which is shocking, since the new complex is almost $150 more per month). At this point, it is not 100% confirmed that I have a unit, but I will call tomorrow and find out.
As for a job, well... I haven't found anything yet that seemed like it would work around my school schedule as easily. I'm still applying and looking, but that is also something I'll work on tomorrow.
Mentally, I feel a bit overwhelmed by my own emotions. I have lived in Norman for 16 (almost 17) years. It has slowly but surely won my heart. For a long time, I felt like I needed to leave and now I am wondering if these subtle feelings of regret are real or just a longing for what never was.
I am constantly reminding myself of a quote someone told me a couple of weeks ago: God is everything or He is nothing. I think a lot of my feelings of remorse and sadness stem from the fear of leaving what is comfortable behind me and venturing into the unknown. I crave a past that didn't exist because it seems more comfortable than moving into a future that is full of challenges and change; two things I struggle with accepting on a daily basis.
For now, I switch between sadness and being okay. I'm not currently feeling the excitement I felt so frequently a few months and even weeks ago. I think that fact that I am willing to face just being okay shows me that I have grown so much as a person. Just because my days are okay doesn't mean that moving isn't a good idea. Feelings aren't fact and my intuition is telling me I'm doing the right thing.
To be honest, this last week has left me without an appetite. I have a hard time eating full meals or any meals at all. I've been having a nauseous and uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. As I was reflecting on the last couple of weeks and everything that has happened around me, I realized I haven't felt this anxious in years, and I'm not a fan of it at all. It's amazing to notice how things change, because nine or 10 years ago, I would have forced this feeling away by doing something drastic or irrational, but today I've been able to just be who I am and feel what I feel and remind myself that this anxiety won't last forever.
So for now, my only update is this: Things aren't going the way I thought they would, but for some strange reason I know it's going to be okay. I'll try to update more soon, but if you'd like to see more of me, check out my YouTube channel: Kelli with an i
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